The Case for Not Trying
Striving Less & Living More
What a beautiful moment it is when your shoulders relax, you exhale an audible breath, and recognize that you no longer need to figure things out.
Earlier this week after spending time in silent prayer, I sensed the Lord telling me to cease trying.
Trying to connect the dots from the past to understand the present.
Trying to make sense of pain inflicted upon me by others.
Trying to forecast where life is taking me.
Trying to cross the Ts and dot the Is to reach perfectly crafted goals.
Trying to bear the weight of burdens that were never mine to carry.
As a recovering do-er and person who can easily equate striving with progress, I sat with the reality that my trying hasn’t ever resulted in any deeply quantifiable forward motion. What has manifested and what is quantifiable is the exhaustion, irritability, and mental strain associated with the striving itself. Can you relate?
Efforts to try even harder. Plotting and scheming to find the way. Endless pursuit of understanding. All supernatural endeavors, really.
Let’s face it.
No matter the attempts to answer all of life’s ‘WHYs’ or neatly package our life experiences – with a decorative bow attached, even – there are simply questions that will remain unanswerable. Situations where clarity will never be found. Plot twists and detours about which we’ll never fully grasp. Ironically, therein lies the gift.
Have you ever considered the freedom that comes with not trying? Not striving?
What if all that’s required of you is to rest – ease, gentleness, a softer way of living?I imagine that you may be struggling to embrace this soft approach to life. It conflicts with the messages you may have received. It challenges your notion of strength and contribution in this world. It undermines the control you desire and confronts what you’ve deemed as your identity – ‘the strong one.’
However, may I reframe this for you, my friend?
Not trying isn’t the same as apathy.
Not trying won’t make you any less strong or valuable.
Not trying can ultimately create space for God to move.
Not trying carries a badge of honor all its own.
Not trying is the vehicle through which creativity actually flows.
My friend, I wonder what you envision for this season of life. Perhaps your desire is to develop a helpful ministry for others. Show up as the best version of yourself at home and at work. Be a more compassionate and empathetic friend. Make healthier decisions. Communicate more effectively with others. Serve as a leader in your community.
Like you, I aspire to be everything I’m called to be in every life domain.
Underneath it all, however, my deepest aspiration is to continue living surrendered – aware of, and even braggadocious about, the fact that I’m trying less. Not to make it about me, but to point to The One who is doing the work that was never intended for me to do.
Where are you laboring in life? And are these areas where your labor is actually required?
I’ll leave you with a concluding thought, one focused on living softer – a simple quote by Nick Frederickson:
So, I close
my eyes
to old ends
and open
my heart to
new
beginnings.
Cheers to a softer society.
xo, Mekel